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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Earthmomma's LiveJournal:

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    Tuesday, December 17th, 2013
    10:44 pm
    Over a year? seriously
    I haven't posted a journal entry in over a year? Really? Wow. These days I post my thoughts in 140 character blips over on twitter.

    I think about getting a regular blog but I'm to lazy to look into it.

    Anywho -- life is okay. I'm behind with holiday preparations. My tree is up and I'm midway through decorating it. I'll get it done. Still have packages to mail. Running out of time. Part of me just doesn't care. Not too much Christmas spirit here...not sure why.

    I don't see many people even posting here any more. Sad. It was quite the hot spot at one time.
    Saturday, September 1st, 2012
    6:11 pm
    Well, my brother posted he has new granddaughter so I guess they know. The baby looks like Candy. Poor kid.
    Friday, August 31st, 2012
    10:17 pm
    It's really sad that I don't feel comfortable sending a note to my brother Andy (and his wife, the b****) about their being grandparents again? Why? Because i don't know if they knew they were going to be grandparents! Yes her relationships with everyone are screwed. I noticed her daughter isn't Andy's friend on facebook any longer. I saw Amie (her daughter) post about being an aunt again to a second baby girl. And I noticed that one of Amie's friends commented about Joti & Pat (Pat is Candy's son) were going to have their baby today.

    now Pat is a asshole and a thief. He's not welcome in my home and hasn't been since he stole my brother's tools and after several incidents of exposing himself (yup, he's a sex offender). But his girlfriend was relatively close to Andy & Candy...well, close until they moved to new Hampshire. Now no one is close to them.

    I haven't had much contact with Andy other than an occasional message via facebook. I've had no contact and really don't care if I ever do with his wife after she sent the birthday card I mailed her back, unopened, with a snotty letter about how I don't appreciate family..blah blah blah.

    So..another grandchild that they may not even know about now.
    Monday, May 7th, 2012
    9:33 pm
    High road or low road
    So my sister-in-law Candy unfriended me on Facebook. I got an odd comment from Andy on my Easter post where I said "Happy Easter" ... 'why don't you acknowledge Candy' Huh?

    Her birthday is tomorrow. I mailed a card with a Dunkin Donuts card in it.

    Today I got the card back, unopened with a note about how I don't feel that family is important. That they've invited me to visit yet I always find reasons not to go (funny, I don't remember being asked to come up any specific time).

    I'm tired of apologizing for things I haven't done. I'm tired of apologizing for hurting her feelings. No one in her family talks to her and dammit, there is a really good reason. She's a self-centered emotionally-retarded drama queen.

    Phew. Got that out.

    High road -- reach out

    Low road -- tell her that my life doesn't revolve around them and that I'm sorry she doesn't have a job, doesn't have friends and is imagining things because she is just existing.

    I don't think I'll be taking the high road on this. In fact, much as I'd love to take the low road I won't do that either. I'm going to drop a note to my brother telling him I love him and that I'm sorry 'his' wife feels that I have slighted them. I have a life. I live it. I care about them but I'm not changing who I am just because his wife is needy.

    Way to ruin a perfectly good mini-vacation to come home to this bullshit. Again.

    Leila
    Tuesday, March 13th, 2012
    8:02 pm
    Lesson still not learned?
    So anyone who follows me on facebook knows brother #1 Mitch was in the hospital in quite serious condition with extremely high bloodpressure, protein in his urine (a sign of kidney damage) and high blood sugar. There was extreme concern that he might have suffered a mini-stroke. He was out of it for a couple of days and in quite a bit of pain caused by the high blood sugar.

    They finally released him but told my SIL not to leave him alone for any amount of time. Drs. continue to do more tests to see if there was more damage (and determine if he did, in fact, have any strokes).

    So yesterday my SIL Donna posts that he has been given the go ahead to return to work. That's great. Then in the post there's a little comment about hoping he's learned his lesson ... so I asked if Big Bro had been doing something wrong. Sure enough..he's either been skipping his meds or he did something to allow it to go absurdly high.

    Hello? He had a stroke a couple years ago because he wasn't taken his meds. He's lost strength on his left side, he gets really flustered easy and he has neuropathy to the point he can't drive any longer because he can't feel his feet.

    I'm just so furious that he could have caused his own health crisis and put his wife and family through this. You would think he would have learned after the first stroke.
    Sunday, March 4th, 2012
    4:22 pm
    Brothers
    Funny how livejournal is where I end up posting family type stuff.

    Just throwing out into the cybersphere the fact that I am worried about my oldest brother. He's in the hospital and has been for several days now. His blood pressure is through the roof and keeps spiking. I hope he's not going to have another stroke. So far the tests say no.

    And just to say it...I'm afraid of losing him especially so close to losing Fred. Even though over the past 20 years I've seen him 4 times -- once when he visited in 1999 while working at Westover AFB, my mom's funeral, dad's funeral and Fred's funeral. I don't want to think the worst but I cannot help it.

    I think things are looking better for him but they haven't said what's causing his bloodpressure spikes. I'll feel better when they find out what exactly is happening.

    There. Is said it.

    Leila
    Sunday, January 8th, 2012
    3:13 pm
    Old movies
    I just love old movies. The times seem so much simpler and everyone less complicated.

    I love the humor -- it's not mean, it's not dirty, it's geniunely funny based on shared experiences.

    The clothing people wore back in the 50's and 60's were so stunning. It's funny that women always looked so put together. I know some of the smoothness was from girdles but man, no matter how heavy a woman was she always looked 'together' and always attractive. I think it was in the 70's we abandoned girdles and thank goodness. They were horrible to wear. But I have to say although Spanx definitely help smooth out the lumps and bumps, they are much more comfortable to wear.

    Anywho -- sometimes I wish we lived the same way -- old towns with tree lined avenues, white picket fences, neighbors who knew each other, less complicated lives...

    I know it's a white washed picture of life but it doesn't mean I can't dream about it, right?

    Back to Don Knott's and the Ghost and Mr. Chicken.
    Thursday, January 5th, 2012
    11:19 pm
    What is the etiquette for...
    dealing on facebook with people who are playing out their marital issues online?

    My brother Fred's former stepson Andy (goes by Phil now...whatever!) reconnected with me after Fred's funeral. First his wife hijacks his facebook wall and starts posting crap. Then next thing you know it's these long winded posts about this and that.

    I mean, I feel sorry he's got problems but I don't want to know. I don't want to read that his wife thinks he thinks she's a fat lazy pig (which he denies in his rebuttals) and I don't want to read that he wakes her up to yell at her. it's just too much bullshit.

    He has a bad track record with women and he's got kids all over the place. What's really sad is he has a genetic disease that causes brain tumors and skeletal issues and he keeps having unprotected sex and fathering all these kids who are having same medical issues as he is. Hello!

    Anywho -- TMI for this old lady...especially from someone I hadn't seen in 6 or 7 years (maybe longer). He was all upset about Fred's passing because he hadn't appreciated how hard Fred tried to be his friend and now it was too late.

    I guess I should unfollow unless there's a way to hide his posts without dropping him off my friend list.
    Friday, December 30th, 2011
    5:24 pm
    Ah what else can a Christmas card say
    So this year I got two Christmas cards that brought unexpected news. One sad, one happy.

    The first came in an envelope with a Florida address for KBarry. The only K Barry I know if Kristyn Barry. The wife of my former boyfriend Ted. Now his ex-wife according to the note in the card. Their relationship had been rocky probably the past 20 years (they had celebrated their 25 anniversary last year). Ted was a difficult guy but he had a good heart.
    Kristyn wanted him to be something he wasn't (or couldn't be). So I guess she said enough is enough and moved out and they divorced.

    She gave her contact info so that I can get in touch with her. It's been years since we chatted. But I think she always needed more girlfriends in her life so maybe it will be a good thing to reconnect.

    I just want to see how Ted is doing first.

    The second Christmas card came today with a return address and name I had never seen before. I stood in my driveway opening it saying to myself "who the hell is Calvin Barnes?" When I got it open, I found a note from my "Aunt" Gale (she's actually my friend Becky's aunt but I adore her too). She had remarried around Thanksgiving time this year and was very very happy. Wow both Overton widows have remarried within a couple of years after losing their husbands. I do hope she's happy because she's just the loveliest lady in the world. Always there with a big smile, a wide grin and a happy "hello darlin'"

    Amazing what a Christmas card can bring, eh?
    Thursday, December 29th, 2011
    8:07 pm
    Closet cleaning catharsis
    Is it a sad statement that I'm enjoying getting my closet cleaned out and organized?

    I'm tossing stuff that I don't wear any longer or shoes that never quiet fit right. Big brothers/Big sisters is coming through tomorrow and I am trying to find and get rid of anything that has wear left in.

    I want to put my smaller jeans down stairs in the cedar closet and then I can bring them up as I lose weight. I'll bring up my goal jeans and hang on the door to spur me on!

    I'm also 'space bagging' my summer clothes. Such excitement, eh?

    I need to pick up the pace though because my bed is stripped and covered with shoe boxes and piles of clothes -- if I don't get everything put back, I'll be sleeping on the couch! ha ha!
    Wednesday, December 28th, 2011
    7:08 pm
    Just a matter of time
    I had been bad and hadn't gotten over to get Fred's stuff from where he was living. I had sent a note to Colleen (his landlady) that I apologized about not getting it (back in the middle of December) and she said it was understood.

    Today I get this passive aggressive message via facebook about not being able to meet the mortgage because they couldn't rent out his room.

    Hello! If the situation was dire, they should have said something. How dependent were they on his disability payment? Gosh, it sounds like they can't meet their mortgage without someone renting a room (for $650 a month????) -- good luck finding another sucker!

    She said he had mostly clothing and she could donate that if I gave permission (which I did in response) and if they wanted to sell his computer to make up on the loss of income that was fine with me (it wasn't worth much, I'm sure).

    I responded that I didn't know the situation was dire and that she should have notified me sooner. Like I needed to have a bunch of guilt heaped on me. *sigh* If her husband wasn't such an asswipe, I would have gone over and gotten Fred's crap but I cannot stand dealing with him (he is one of those guys with a story for everything and he just doesn't know when to shut the hell up).

    I hope they want to just get rid of his stuff and I don't have to deal with it at all. I should have said that before. I guess if he does have family stuff, I should get it. Not sure if he would have much other than photos.
    Wednesday, December 14th, 2011
    11:33 pm
    Finally!
    Christmas spirit has arrived. It happened when I started putting ornaments on the tree. I was looking at my ornaments (mostly Hallmark) and remembering who gave it to me and what it represented.

    I may cut back on how many ornaments I put on the tree but I probably won't be able to stand not having certain ones on the tree.

    I got the last of the packages done up and ready to mail.

    Next up, finishing the decorating and wrapping the great-nephews stuff. Tomorrow I have to make some white trash (pretzels, corn chex, M & Ms and peanuts covered in white chocolate) because I'm bringing some to Jean's house after our big Xmas luncheon. The Aqua Turf, in Southington, always makes me feel Christmas-y because of how nicely they decorate.

    Thank goodness my spirit found me!
    Monday, December 12th, 2011
    11:09 pm
    In search of Christmas spirit
    Not sure if it's hormones making me crabby or if I really haven't found my Christmas spirit yet.

    I've been shopping and wrapping and I decorated the outside of the house. Still no glimmer of my spirit. Maybe I need to break out the old black and white movies that will make me feel something inside.

    Basically after this Saturday I'm done with gift giving (mostly) and such. Maybe I'll do some baking or candy making the week before xmas.

    Or sewing. I guess I could work on a Christmas quilt since I have 2 projects ready to be worked on.

    I don't know.

    It's been harder than I thought this year doing the shopping because normally the last gifts I buy are Fred's. So all the little things I'd normally get, I don't have to this year. And yeah, I know it's okay to be sad but still, I didn't expect it to make me 'this' sad.

    I guess I should go and finish package #3 for mailing. And I do need to put together the gift bags for my work buddies.

    At least this post isn't bitching about my family!

    Leila
    8:07 pm
    Christmas and kid's gifts
    So, I've been doing shopping for my sister-in-law's daughter & her boys.

    I didn't have much for my oldest great-nephew Tony so I was at Toys-R-Us and thought I'd grab a lego kit for him. I made the mistake of sending a text asking my neice if Tony still liked Lego and I got a short snippy message (all in caps too) 'NO SHOES CLOTHES AND GAMES'.

    Do I take the lego set back? I had gotten him a remote control car too...I guess we'll see if he likes that. Video games are $50 a pop and I did get him one. I probably should have just left it at that. Oh well. I have gift receipts. They don't like the stuff THEY can take them back.

    And she asked for a gift certificate for this women's clothing store. I went over to get it. OMG, it's a tramp store! I imagine it's where prostitutes get their clothes. Ick.

    I won't be looking forward to seeing them all on Saturday when they come over to get their presents (I have Andy & Candy's gifts for the kids too -- heck, I got stuck shopping for Tony too). *sigh*
    Thursday, November 17th, 2011
    10:11 pm
    Long week
    The house is quiet tonight. Big brother Mitch isn't here shuffling around and talking about video games and stuff.

    I've been pretty good all week but something about wheeling my brother to his gate and turning him over to the gate attendant to board his plane just made me so sad. Brother #2 is gone, Brother #1 has gotten old before his time.

    And I just wanted to weep for the injustice of the world.

    The service was beautiful and Father Mike did a great job of capturing who my brother was without ever having met him. The military honors were unexpected and to hear taps played for my brother was something I won't ever forget. I have his flag and will have to get a case for it.

    tomorrow I head down to VA to see Sonora and then onto NC. I kind of wish I had a couple more days alone to get my head around the whole thing before being thrown into being around others but I know it will be good to get away.

    Time to pack.

    Mourning will come in small doses most likely when I least expect. That's okay. He deserves to be mourned more than just a couple of days.

    And this year Christmas is going to be very hard. Harder than it was the year Mom died and definitely harder than it was the year Dad died. I kept up Christmas tradition mostly for Fred because he loved getting presents and having a really big meal.

    Heck, I even wonder who will be here for Christmas. It could be just me and if that's the case, I need to decide what I'm going to do. Be alone or go to one of my extended families. Alone doesn't really sound all that bad...

    time to go. Much to do!
    Sunday, November 13th, 2011
    3:37 pm
    Sunday
    Things were okay today.

    I'm very relieved to have the house to myself now. I'm going to finish clearing off the kitchen table and the counter and do some cleaning.

    Then it is on to doing the collages for Fred's funeral. We got such great pictures of Fred. His baby pictures, school pictures as he grew up, pictures from the service and pictures from some weddings of the family.

    It's just hard to get my head around him being gone. For all the bitching I did about him over the years, it was good to know he was a phone call away if I needed him. And every now and then it just sneaks up on me that I can never call him and say hey again.

    Cancer sucks.

    He had bile duct cancer which I did some research on and it's rare. It usually hits people who are 65 or over. And it's usually too far along to do much with once it's detected.

    *sigh*

    I think it's time to check out the sauce and dip some bread in for quality control.
    8:32 am
    Maybe it's stress or drama, but I was looking forward to sleeping in today (if sleeping until 8 can be considered sleeping in). Instead I woke up at 5:45 and didn't ever fall back asleep.

    The only good thing about losing a couple extra hours of sleep was the fact I ran the dishwaster.

    I'm going to hit the shower shortly and get dressed to face the day and my brother Andy & his wife Candy.

    Are all families this stressful? Is there drama? Maybe I'm just tired of having to tread lightly.

    *sigh*

    On a good note, my friend Diane & her husband Joe sent a beautiful floral arrangement that's in shades of chartreuse. Very lovely. And my budds and their kids sent a dish garden.
    It's funny because I think just recently the last plant from the one they sent for my dad died. I have a couple plants from one my classmates in my project management class sent for Mom still growing big.

    And is it strange that my dad's cactus (christmas cactus but they always bloom around Thanksgiving) are all budded this week?

    I'm hanging in there. It's all I can do. At least I have vacation coming and that should really help me decompress. If the next few days, don't kill me.
    Saturday, November 12th, 2011
    10:14 pm
    I feel like a yoyo today. Spent the day with Andy & Candy and thought it went well up until the minute we were all leaving (me to the grocery store and them back to their hotel).

    Now I feel like all the good of the day just flushed down the toilet.

    And now I'm back to feeling stressed about everything.

    And I have this dumbass movie on called Revenge of the Yeti on and it's not distracting at all other than how stupid it is.

    I am looking forward to seeing my oldest brother. It's been 10 years since I saw him and that was when he came home for Dad's funeral. We seriously need to see each other when it's not a case of someone dying.
    9:34 pm
    Drama queen (aka SIL ... again)
    I guess I hurt my SIL's feelings. Again.

    She was bitching about her daughter and I told her to be nice. "I'm always nice". Um, no sometimes you come off as mean.

    So I guess that hurt her feelings. I was half joking but also half serious. If she truly says the stuff she says she does, it's no wonder her kids (especially her daughter) don't want to be around her.

    I have never heard of a family who holds grudges like her family.

    I am so sick of having to tread lightly around her. She is a freaking drama queen and overly sensitive.

    And my brother should stay out of the middle. I get these asinine emails that just piss me off.

    I give up. I just give up.

    I swear I'm going to enjoy xmas alone. Truly. It might be the most relaxing xmas I've had in years.
    Thursday, November 10th, 2011
    10:29 pm
    I guessed right
    So Brother Andy and his wife aren't going to stay with me. I was right they'd get in a snit.

    I guess it's a good thing anyway -- my spare bedroom can be used by my older brother Mitch and he doesn't get here until Monday. They want to do visiting while they are here and I'd be just as happy having some space for myself until Mitch gets here.

    Such drama.
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